ChoiceQuatorze

Your stomach feels a hard wrench, and reality warps.

You appear in a luscious jungle. A small cottage is in front of you, and the door mat says nothing. You open the door and feel a sting in your eyes, then something strikes your temple. Whoever was inside is yelling: "Boy, ain't you eva heard of a doorbell?!?" You crack your eyes open to see an aging Chinese man holding pepper spray and a ninja staff. It's interesting that he has the accent of an old lady from Lousianna. Eventually, the two of you resolve your differences, and learn that he is Confucious. He invites you to have tea after mentioning that you are stupid, useless to society, and therefore, better off dead. Do you,

1) Accept his offer and have a fantabulous tea party or, 2) Decide that you are not thirsty and wish to talk over rice